Grief anew

I have an entire other post I've been working on, but today is not the day for that post....today my heart is hurting.  Saturday morning I received a phone call...again, one of those phone calls you never want to have, but there I was again having this phone call. A dear college friend of mine passed away.  It was a car accident, the details aren't important. Immediately I was sucked back to June and my heart bled again. The last time I spoke to my friend was via text on Branson's birthday.  She texted me to tell me she was thinking of me...we texted back and forth a few minutes and caught up on life..and that was it.  The last time I had contact with her. This grief is so different, I went through shock much quicker than with Branson and moved quickly to just overwhelming sadness. I cannot stop thinking of her family...oh how I know how they must feel. My heat hurts because I lost a friend, but their hearts hurt bc they've lost a daughter, sister, granddaughter...I want so badly to hold them because I know the pain is so strong, but I also know that there is nothing I can do or say to make it feel any better....they have to go through it in their own way, on their own time. 

It has been much harder to accept her death than Branson's.  I don't know why, but with Branson I knew immediately his life had fulfilled God's purpose...and although I truly belive that with her as well...I still have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she is gone.  She was beautiful, so smart, and always tried to make people feel included.  It has also brought up feelings that I have tried my hardest to push aside, keep buried down...but now they are out in the open again...salt on my wound.  Its hard to explain this grief this time.  I feel like I've been drug backwards in my grief instead of forwards.  I know God's plan in all of this pain will overcome all and we will be amazed by it all, but in my pit of grief its hard to grasp that for a moment. I beg of those who read this to not only pray for the family today...but continue to remember them...bc as time passes it gets harder.  I know for me it has been. People say less and you hurt more...so pray for them for a very long time...they are hurting so deep they need as many prayers not just today...but tomorrow, next week, next month, 5 months from now..a yr from now.  The pain comes in waves...so please pleas pray continously!  Love to you all.