Time

How can time seem to move so quickly and stand completely still all at the same time?  I remember some things like it was yesterday.  I remember the phone call, the panic, driving to the hospital, waiting in the room for the ambulance to arrive, them carrying his lifeless body in the doors, them working on him, the Dr telling me it was all they could do, them calling his time of death, me falling to my knees, them carrying him to me, Cody walking in the door, Cody falling to his knees...I close my eyes and I see him.  That sweet boy in my arms, cold, gone. I felt like I had failed him...I'm supposed to protect him from all harm arent I.  Where was I when he was leaving his body...what was I doing in that moment?!  It seems like I'm still there holding him.  Then I open my eyes and it seems like eternity since I saw him last, saw his smile, saw him crawling, pulling up, laughing, eating food, nursing. An eternity since I felt the warmth of his body.  Three weeks...yesterday and an eternity all wrapped up in my brain.  How is this possible?  My heartaches...