another day...

Another day, running out of things to do around the house...

yesterday I was running some errands (car inspection, fixing my phone screen that I dropped and cracked yesterday morning, bank, etc.) and while I was waiting for my car to be inspected a lady came in with her baby...he looked to be about the same age as Branson and I couldn't even look at him.  I had to use every strength of will power not to burst out in the waiting room.  I did tear up and I looked away.  Then I felt guilty for looking away, he was a cute baby...no reason he should have to be a pain in my heart.  But it was.  Then Kinlee was looking at pictures on my phone with me and although I've seen the pictures on Branson a million times it hurt my heart looking at them yesterday, he looked so alive and so happy...I miss that sweet boy. I miss that sweet smile and I miss that caring heart he had.  I did read a quote today that helped me: "Sometimes God let's you hit rock bottom so that you will discover that he is the Rock at the bottom." Dr. Tony Evans ....It's a new perspective.

After receiving the gift the other day for Stetson and Kinlee I can't help but think there is more for me to take from his death.  More I must do with it...I'm not sure what that may be yet, but I do know that God will help me figure it out. Right now God is allowing me time to mourn...When I ask what will come of this he just says "not yet...mourn sweet girl"  I will just ask for prayers not only for our family in this time, but also that whatever it is God wants me to do to use this for his will that I see it and run with it.  I need to carry on Branson's tender, sweet, caring heart.