Faith

Faith is such a hard thing, believing in something before it happens, and believing everything happens for a reason with a purpose. In retrospect God has been preparing us all for this event (shouldn't have figured any less, doesn't he always). A year or so ago I was somehow made aware of a family that had an older son and 6 month old triplets. One of the triplets passed away at 6 months...(http://bissingfamily.com/). I read her blog everyday for months and although I knew nothing about her my heart broke for her and I would sob every time I read her blog. I prayed for them because I couldn't imagine the pain. This was just the start. I've seen many little ones lose their life early over the past 6-9 months and it always pulled at my heart and I would pray in whatever way I could. I say all of this to show how God obviously was preparing me and my heart. Not once have I been angry with God. Confused, upset, hurt... Yes all of those, but not angry. Maybe I just haven't made it to that stage in my grief. However I believe it's because God prepared me and my heart, and he gave me Branson. What better act of Love from God than that sweet boy. I do still ask God why, or why me?! Not that I would want anyone else to feel this pain.. But a question nonetheless. I KNOW God and Branson have a continued plan for this earth. I will find that way to carry on Branson's love and happiness. People everywhere will know his joy! Will my faith falter, maybe, but God is always there, even if my faith is weak. I have felt his love surrounding me since before I made it to the hospital. He has not once left my side, and he will carry me through this.. Especially on the harder days.