I am surrounded by overwhelming love and I am beyond appreciative for this wonderful gift. So much has happened today and so much more needs to be done. We lost our sweet boy a little over 24 hrs ago and it still seems so unreal. When will it ever feel real, when will I ever feel "normal" again? I hate that I randomly break down and cry for little to no reason at all and at other times that I should be bawling I just sit stone still. Whats to be expected, what will people want to see me do, how does one act in this horrible nightmare. Im exhausted just trying to be alive without him being alive, how do I carry on and do normal everyday things. Ive got distractions which is good, but eventually these will go and then all I'll have is memories and quietness where he once was, oh my sweet baby boy.
There is no set in stone time for the memorial at this moment, however right now we are tenatively setting it for Saturday mid morning for those that want to plan to attend. It will be a celebration of the wonderful 9 months we were blessed with....oh what a happy boy, oh what a wonderful joy he brought me.
For those that are wondering we have not heard back about the autopsy, we are in limbo just waiting for that exact thing. Its an excrutiating wait. I think that's all I have the courage and strength to type right now, by heart is starting to bleed and ache...continue your prayers and thanks to all. Love to all.
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What a beautifully written, yet heart-breaking post. I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I cannot even imagine such a devastating situation. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. May your sweet angel rest in peace and always be remembered by everyone with smiles and full hearts. Sending love your way. <3 xoxo
ReplyDeleteFrom a TWW TTC'er -
LisaB
I heard you needed some love and prayers. Will be praying for you and your family to find comfort and peace in this time of grief and devastation. Big Hugs. <3 <3 Sending lots of prayers your way. I can't imagine and my heart breaks for you.
ReplyDeleteAlso a TWW TTC'er
Kate
I do not know you but a friend of a friend does and I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you and your beautiful family are going through. All I can do is keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of strength your way! * Hugs*
ReplyDeleteI am really praying hard for your Britni. I can't imagine what you are going through. You are such an amazing mommy. Thoughts and prayers are with your constantly.
ReplyDeleteStephanie Finefrock (TWW)<AUGUST MAMA)
Hi Britni, we have never met but I am also a TWW member and we have mutual friends. I am so sorry for your loss, your sweet beautiful blue eyed boy. I have been thinking about you and your family since I heard. Xoxo
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. There are no words to express how sorry I am. May your beautiful blue eyed boy rest in peace in god's arms now.
ReplyDeleteI am so terribly sorry for your loss.
From another TWW'er.
My heart breaks all over again every time I think about you. You WILL learn to breathe again. I promise. But its like all of a sudden you have to breathe underwater while everyone else gets to continue breathing normally. You have to learn to breathe without him and that is heavy and thick and difficult and incredibly painful. Your faith and your courage as you step out onto this road are a true testament to love and all of us who are standing on the outside looking in are simply in awe of that true love that only a mother can give. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Dana
Britni,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a strong Mommy. Don't worry about how anyone expects you to act. You have to feel and grieve in your own way. Hearts are breaking everywhere for your family and we all understand that there is no right or wrong way to act right now. You are in my constant thoughts and prayers. We will help you through this anyway that was can. Big Hugs!!
Love,
Natalie
I am so sorry for your loss. Don't worry about expectations from others. Everyone grieves in their own way, and there are no words for the horror you are experiencing. My best friend lost her 5 month old son to SIDS several years ago. It was the worst thing I ever saw. I know one thing that has helped her are support groups. Reach out to those who love you. They want to be there for you, they just don't know how. You don't know me, but you are in my prayers. I will be thinking of you every day.
ReplyDeleteNo words from me, just hugs and prayers! Love you so much, I know somehow you guys will make it through this eventually...
ReplyDelete