From the moment this sweet boy was in my arms he was a joy. He was a surprise baby, we had not planned to conceive him. After the initial shock though, we were so excited (stressed that he and Kinlee would be so close in age) to grow another part of our family. He was such a tiny little man and had a major weight gain issues. But his milestones flew by! He was crawling by five months and pulling up to standing, cruising furniture by 6 months. I never had chance to rest between him and Kinlee. He was such a snuggly baby, he loved to be held and rocked to sleep. He would burrow his face in the crook of your arm, that was his "I'm sleepy" sign. He had recently started rubbing my hair between his fingers when I rocked him to sleep. He was the most smiley baby you ever saw, he mainly smiled for his momma, but Cody, Stetson and Kinlee could get a good smile too. He had this calmness and joy that you couldn't help but feel when you were with him. Even when I wanted him to go to sleep because I was so tired and I just looked at him and said "why are you still awake, it is bed time?!" He would look at me and grin and I would fall apart with laughter. Oh what a joy. He always seemed wise beyond his age. He just had this look in his eye that could reach out and touch your soul. I remember many a times when he was an infant that I would sit and stare at him, mesmerized by him. What a blessing he was not only to my family and I, but also to anyone who was able to spend time and amount of time with him.
Besides everything he was...I think of everything he did also. He taught Kinlee how to be a big sister, and oh how she loved her little brother. She would lay on the floor on her stomach with her feet up in the air and just say over and over " Hey Banson, Hey Banson" and smile at him. She also loved to tell him "No No Banson" He was already teaching her to be a good momma. He taught Stetson what it was like to have a little brother...the brotherly bond. Stetson wanted a little brother so badly. Stetson told me that Branson will always be in his heart. Wow, six years old and he knows. I hope he always remembers his sweet baby brother. He taught Cody happiness, joy and surprise. He had dreams for his little man. He loved teasing Cody and Cody thought it was hilarious and would tease him right back. He would smile a mischievous smile at Cody and ignore him or go the opposite direction. They were so alike. Branson would have been an amazing Grown man. I can only imagine. Me...oh what he taught me. He taught me joy, how to smile even when I was upset, how to slow down and enjoy life, how to love in a new different way, how to expect the unexpected. He was always keeping us on our toes starting with preterm labor. He taught me to smile, He taught me to smile for the world to see. Because when you have a smile like that sweet boy everyone feels it. Since his death he's continued to teach me...He's taught me faith, strength, love, how to never forget a moment, and take advantage of every opportunity you can when it comes to your children. What a 9 month old could teach the world...beyond what we can grasp. I'm sure I'll continue to learn from him. What a strong little man he was. I miss the joy he taught me on a daily basis, but I will never forget the joy he taught me in his life. He was and always will be my sweet baby boy.
Since his passing I've constantly felt like he was near...smiling at me and right by my feet. I could close my eyes and feel him in my arms snuggled up trying to sleep. Today, I didn't feel that as much. I hate that. I need to feel him.
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